Total Surrender

What has always impressed me most about the program and myself is the i (instant, continuing challenge to try recapturing some of the true and honest rapture I felt upon total surrender, when I first came into A.A. I or me, that special peace of mind has never been duplicated. Now, after all the accumulated twenty-four-hour periods, I realize that it probably never will be. I have come close to it a few times, but it’s never the same.

I think there is a relationship between that feeling and our need at the time we were introduced to the program. Our motivation, I believe, is a combination of enough hurt and the grace of God. Surely a strange combination! I would not knowhow to express it to anyone outside A.A. Des Plaines, Illinois